God is not Discouraged...

"The great events of this world are not battles, elections, earthquakes, or thunderbolts.

The great events are babies, for each child comes with the message that God is not discouraged with humanity." Unknown

A Woman's "Mt. Everest"

As D-Day gets closer, I've been feeling more apprehension and spending more time in prayer for the delivery of this little man than I remember with his sisters. As I was praying about it yesterday, it struck me that giving birth to a baby is a type of "Mt. Everest" experience for a woman. I won't say definitively that this thought came from God; but Adam and I have watched several episodes of Mt. Everest climbers this winter, and it dawned on me yesterday that although there have been a few women who have attempted the climb, they are rarely, if ever......mothers who attempt it. I don't think this is merely because moms are insulated from feeling the need to climb Everest from their built-in self-protection mode (although that would certainly play a part). I think it also has to do with the fact that any woman who has given birth has already experienced her own variety of "Mt. Everest." Yes, there are women who attempt the Everest climb, but they are few and far between, and don't usually seem to be mothers. Generally, challenging Everest seems to be a man's sport, and grows out of a man's need to prove he can endure intense agony and danger, challenging the "death zone," just to be able to experience a few glorious moments on the top of the world. I can't speak for every mom, but it's safe to say that for me, that Mt. Everest is simply not a big deal. I've lived through my own "death zone" and the glorious moments that followed. No mountain-top experience in the world can ever equate the absolute miracle and wonder of bringing new life into the world, and knowing you were part of that miracle, regardless of how painful and excruciating the journey to get there might have been.

The "nesting instinct"

After 6 months of not having the use of our bedrooms (the entire upstairs), I have finally come to the end of my tolerance. My eye started twitching last week, a sure sign that the stress is getting to me. I think under normal circumstances, I could probably handle it a little better at this point, but considering I am six months pregnant and flat out not able to prepare a "nest" for this little one is really starting to drive my crazy! My house is in an almost-constant state of chaos. I keep organizing and putting things away in my mind, but of course can't even start until after the construction is complete. Hopefully it will go quickly, since I've had so much time to mentally construct everything first. :-) For as annoyed as I became with Tinka, our canary hen, for plucking her feathers and even her babies' feathers when she couldn't find suitable nesting materials for her next round, I think I can kind of relate. There really is something programed into our very nature - all God's creatures and humans alike - about preparation for bringing life into this world, and any interruption to that process produces a disproportionate amount of stress.

A Wedding Tale

Since we live in town, and in rather close proximity to some of our neighbors, Adam and I have experienced the frustration of having some of the neighbor kids invade our yard on a seemingly constant basis when we are out working or playing with the girls. This isn't always a bad thing; we like our children to have friends to play with, but it does get difficult during some times of the year, because it feels like a constant invasion of our family life when we are trying to work, play, or just spend time together as a family. Well, Adam found a unique solution today.......the girls are outside play-pretending about weddings, flowers and all. When one little neighbor boy wandered over, as usual, and asked what they were up to, the girls told him they were playing "wedding." Adam, of course, had to add his two cents' worth, by telling J---, "yeah, and they are looking for a boy to marry!" Apparently, the neighbor boy didn't waste a moment staying in our yard after this announcement....

An Observation on Life

As I rested on the couch, marveling - again - at the sensation of some little one kicking around inside me, I was struck - again - by the glaring inconsistencies of what we modern, sophisticated, educated people - even Christians - call birth control.

Many people try - and some succeed - in their attempt to write volumes of theoretical reasons supporting either the pros or cons of birth control, either natural or artificial. I won't deny that God has allowed us the ability, both through artificial means and natural means to "plan" our child-bearing privileges and responsibilities. It is, indeed, both a privilege and a responsibility, neither of which should be taken lightly, whether or not you believe in "planning" each pregnancy or not, per say.

But to that end, I must say this. There is a sometimes sad, sometimes humorous, but blatantly real irony to the whole concept of birth "control." I suppose it could be said that of our five pregnancies, Adam and I "planned" three of the five. And the simple reality is, that we were blessed to be given the two we did not plan, but so far, only one of the three that we did "plan." I ask you; who controls life and death?

This is not a treatise or essay to persuade people to either adopt or abandon a certain method or ideology of birth "control"; it is simply an observation on a blatant reality of life that might, I hope, encourage some people to pause and withhold judgment on those who might take a different view, but especially some of us who might judge those who take the view that man has no right to "control" birth at all (the Duggar family comes to mind). Neither Adam or I go that far; we believe in the principles of responsible stewardship, and we suspect we know our limits, given our own family situation - and it must be pointed out, that every family is different, and few, if any, are qualified to judge another's situation.

But the truth is, that sometimes God honors both the wishes and methods of one couple who either desire or don't desire children, and yet He has a different plan for some others. Are Adam and I less Godly or spiritual in that we somehow "missed" hearing God when we "planned" two babies that God took home early? Think what you must, but even I have not been able to judge myself that harshly. God tells married couples to see children as a good thing; to be fruitful and multiply; and we did. "The LORD gave, and the LORD has taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD." (Job 1:21b)

So I ask again; who holds the keys to life and death? My answer is simple. God holds the keys; not man. Job understood this; Job was able to declare this, even during his life's darkest hour and most staggering loss (see Job 1). Perhaps this is a mystery, or a rooting of faith that only those acquainted with grief can understand. Until you have longed for a child you cannot have, or have a lost a child you were, for however short a season, blessed to have, the idea that man can control his destiny and the introduction of life into this world, seems plausible, reasonable, even good. And, if God chooses to give you all the children you desire, or "plan," and prevents you from having any child you do not want, this is a fallacy you just might be allowed to keep throughout your life. But if you ask any man or woman who has wrestled with the grief of not being to have a child at all, whether first, or second, or third, etc., or a parent who has been forced to let go seemingly too soon, they will tell you....the power of life and death is in God's hands, not man's. And they would be telling you the simple Truth.

Babies, Books, and Bedtimes

It is October. I have stopped commenting on how fast time flies. It has become the most redundant, oft-repeated line of the century. Time always flies, and it flies faster each year. Yes, it is amazing to be seeing all the autumn colors again; however, it is far more amazing to feel our baby's movement as it grows inside me (even Adam got to feel a twitch the other day); it is deeply satisfying to hear my girls reading story books to each other (self-correction - Rachel reads, while Kaelin makes up the stories based on pictures and memory); and bedtime is still one of crowning achievements of my days. There is absolutely nothing more beautiful in the world than the sight of a sleeping child, especially if it is yours.

"fired"

Rachel to her daddy after mommy told her "no":

"I don't like Mommy now. She's fired."