The "nesting instinct"

After 6 months of not having the use of our bedrooms (the entire upstairs), I have finally come to the end of my tolerance. My eye started twitching last week, a sure sign that the stress is getting to me. I think under normal circumstances, I could probably handle it a little better at this point, but considering I am six months pregnant and flat out not able to prepare a "nest" for this little one is really starting to drive my crazy! My house is in an almost-constant state of chaos. I keep organizing and putting things away in my mind, but of course can't even start until after the construction is complete. Hopefully it will go quickly, since I've had so much time to mentally construct everything first. :-) For as annoyed as I became with Tinka, our canary hen, for plucking her feathers and even her babies' feathers when she couldn't find suitable nesting materials for her next round, I think I can kind of relate. There really is something programed into our very nature - all God's creatures and humans alike - about preparation for bringing life into this world, and any interruption to that process produces a disproportionate amount of stress.

A Wedding Tale

Since we live in town, and in rather close proximity to some of our neighbors, Adam and I have experienced the frustration of having some of the neighbor kids invade our yard on a seemingly constant basis when we are out working or playing with the girls. This isn't always a bad thing; we like our children to have friends to play with, but it does get difficult during some times of the year, because it feels like a constant invasion of our family life when we are trying to work, play, or just spend time together as a family. Well, Adam found a unique solution today.......the girls are outside play-pretending about weddings, flowers and all. When one little neighbor boy wandered over, as usual, and asked what they were up to, the girls told him they were playing "wedding." Adam, of course, had to add his two cents' worth, by telling J---, "yeah, and they are looking for a boy to marry!" Apparently, the neighbor boy didn't waste a moment staying in our yard after this announcement....

An Observation on Life

As I rested on the couch, marveling - again - at the sensation of some little one kicking around inside me, I was struck - again - by the glaring inconsistencies of what we modern, sophisticated, educated people - even Christians - call birth control.

Many people try - and some succeed - in their attempt to write volumes of theoretical reasons supporting either the pros or cons of birth control, either natural or artificial. I won't deny that God has allowed us the ability, both through artificial means and natural means to "plan" our child-bearing privileges and responsibilities. It is, indeed, both a privilege and a responsibility, neither of which should be taken lightly, whether or not you believe in "planning" each pregnancy or not, per say.

But to that end, I must say this. There is a sometimes sad, sometimes humorous, but blatantly real irony to the whole concept of birth "control." I suppose it could be said that of our five pregnancies, Adam and I "planned" three of the five. And the simple reality is, that we were blessed to be given the two we did not plan, but so far, only one of the three that we did "plan." I ask you; who controls life and death?

This is not a treatise or essay to persuade people to either adopt or abandon a certain method or ideology of birth "control"; it is simply an observation on a blatant reality of life that might, I hope, encourage some people to pause and withhold judgment on those who might take a different view, but especially some of us who might judge those who take the view that man has no right to "control" birth at all (the Duggar family comes to mind). Neither Adam or I go that far; we believe in the principles of responsible stewardship, and we suspect we know our limits, given our own family situation - and it must be pointed out, that every family is different, and few, if any, are qualified to judge another's situation.

But the truth is, that sometimes God honors both the wishes and methods of one couple who either desire or don't desire children, and yet He has a different plan for some others. Are Adam and I less Godly or spiritual in that we somehow "missed" hearing God when we "planned" two babies that God took home early? Think what you must, but even I have not been able to judge myself that harshly. God tells married couples to see children as a good thing; to be fruitful and multiply; and we did. "The LORD gave, and the LORD has taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD." (Job 1:21b)

So I ask again; who holds the keys to life and death? My answer is simple. God holds the keys; not man. Job understood this; Job was able to declare this, even during his life's darkest hour and most staggering loss (see Job 1). Perhaps this is a mystery, or a rooting of faith that only those acquainted with grief can understand. Until you have longed for a child you cannot have, or have a lost a child you were, for however short a season, blessed to have, the idea that man can control his destiny and the introduction of life into this world, seems plausible, reasonable, even good. And, if God chooses to give you all the children you desire, or "plan," and prevents you from having any child you do not want, this is a fallacy you just might be allowed to keep throughout your life. But if you ask any man or woman who has wrestled with the grief of not being to have a child at all, whether first, or second, or third, etc., or a parent who has been forced to let go seemingly too soon, they will tell you....the power of life and death is in God's hands, not man's. And they would be telling you the simple Truth.

Babies, Books, and Bedtimes

It is October. I have stopped commenting on how fast time flies. It has become the most redundant, oft-repeated line of the century. Time always flies, and it flies faster each year. Yes, it is amazing to be seeing all the autumn colors again; however, it is far more amazing to feel our baby's movement as it grows inside me (even Adam got to feel a twitch the other day); it is deeply satisfying to hear my girls reading story books to each other (self-correction - Rachel reads, while Kaelin makes up the stories based on pictures and memory); and bedtime is still one of crowning achievements of my days. There is absolutely nothing more beautiful in the world than the sight of a sleeping child, especially if it is yours.

"fired"

Rachel to her daddy after mommy told her "no":

"I don't like Mommy now. She's fired."

the weariness of nothing

Yesterday, we returned home from my brother's wedding. I spent almost a week at my mom's, helping with whatever, and then was the "wedding day coordinator" for my brother and sister-in-law's wedding. It was a beautiful wedding, and a wonderful and exciting time. However, I honestly can't remember the last time I was so exhausted as I was after the wedding - I certainly wasn't that tired after my own! After the wedding, so many people kept telling me what a good job I did, and how lovely the wedding was, as though I somehow had something to do with it. Maybe I did do something, and I have tried to be gracious in just saying "thank you" to the compliments, but to be honest, I can't remember really doing anything! It is mostly just a blur in my mind. I remember the wedding ceremony, and I remember everyone else working hard and doing all the real jobs of planning, decorating, music, food, etc., but for the life of me, I can't remember doing anything of significance. I just know that I ran around a LOT! - and helped answer questions if I could. And it seems so silly to be so tired from simply that! Oh, well. It may always remain a mystery to my mind, but I'm glad it went well and that people had a good time. I'm so proud of my brother, and so happy that Kami is now my sister.

the friendliest flower

I almost didn't plant any flower planters this year. After all, I already have an abundance of beautiful perennial beds, thanks to the generosity of my mother-in-law, but I had a craving for pansies. They are, in my opinion, truly the friendliest flower I know, and the sight of them in their rainbow of colors never fails to warm my heart. Some of the warmth they instill in me must have something to do with memories of them being pressed in my mom's Bible, and falling out when I would flip through her pages.

So, after wrestling with my 20 gallon barrel planters, I finally succeeded in refilling one with good potting soil, and then filling it with pansies, in every color variation I could find. They are blooming vigorously now, at the end of our sidewalk, and I am almost certain they actually say "hello" whenever I walk by. It has become a daily ritual to go outside in the morning to see all the new blossoms that have opened their smiling faces. Even Kaelin has caught onto this little ritual. She loves to come with and select one or two new ones to pick, which we use to freshen up the cheery pansy bouquet in the kitchen.

I think I may have just started a new tradition. Given the abundance and variation of flowers in other parts of my yard, I think I will give myself permission to skip the yearly crusade to create beautiful combinations of annuals in planters. Insead, I think maybe I will stick to twenty gallons of dirt crowned by bobbing and smiling pansies. I can't think of a friendlier way to say "welcome."

bittersweet thoughts

I was just thinking about my little sister's upcoming birthday, and realized how much maturing she will probably undergo in the next 2 years. She will be 14 next week, and of course, those years in age always catch me off-guard. I still tend to underestimate by a year or two with my three youngest siblings. At any rate, Arianna is the youngest, and for a girl, there is something about the year between 15 and 16 where they really seem to....grow up. For Wesley, it was probably between last year and this that I've seen the greatest change. So, I guess I am giving myself fair warning that I have about one more year of a "little" sister, and then....she'll be a young woman. There is no magical moment we can mark when childhood leaves someone forever. It is really just a series of silent "lasts." The last time we see a certain expression; or see a certain toy played with; or hear a childish expression that is both annoying and endearing. And this will be the last for my set of siblings. Thank God for the new beginnings that follow every good-bye.

quiet pool

from "Come Away My Beloved," by Francis Roberts

Lo, I say unto thee, Wait upon ME. Let thy life be as a deep, quiet pool.
....

Only make unto thyself a place apart; yea, a place removed from the press and turmoil, and there I will meet thee. Yea I wait thy coming.
....

For I know what things ye have need of, and I am concerned about thine every duty and responsibility. But thou wilt find thy cares have vanished and thy load lightened as by an unseen hand. For I will that ye bring Me thy love, and even as thou art bringing to Me thy love, I shall in turn bring to thee My power,
so that I work for thee in a two-fold measure.

For I give unto thee the power to discharge thy duties with greater efficiency, and I also am actively engaged in working for thee in ways thou canst not see, to make thy path clear, and to bring about things which thou thyself couldest never accomplish, and which would otherwise absorb thine energies and wear out thy patience.

So I say unto thee again...Rest in Me. Wait upon Me. Come apart with me. Seek My face. Seek my fellowship.

it really is a good thing.

I went to a friend's wedding today. I met her shortly before her divorce several years ago, after her husband walked away from her and their two very young children. In fact, I sat with her at the park the afternoon her divorce was finalized. I've watched her courage and her faith as she was forced to navigated the unfamiliar and unwanted waters of single-parenthood. Watching her and her new husband take their vows today was a good reminder of the vows Adam and I took. I know the statistics for remarriages aren't good, but for this couple, I have a lot of hope. They both know the damage and trauma of divorce. Both experienced unwanted divorce. Both know how difficult marriage can be, but also how rewarding. They both know that in spite of its hardships, marriage is, after all, a good thing, and a good thing to desire and share in.

There is so much material everywhere these days about what a great marriage is all about, and how to have a great marriage, and how to have great communication and connection in your marriage, etc., that I'm afraid most of us, at one point or another, buy into the lie that marriage can be and should be great, all the time. And yet, I cannot find that promise anywhere in the Bible. That can raise a lot of questions about what God intended for marriage, but the long and short of it is - that God called marriage good. It is hard. Very hard, sometimes. Make that many times. But it is good. It does good things to us and in us. Yes, to all my single friends - it is a great blessing, but it comes at great cost. I still do have, and expect I might always have, days when I wonder just what was I thinking, after all??? Marriage - hurts like crazy sometimes. It also requires great resilience, and if you don't already possess a great capacity for forgiveness, marriage will develop it in you. If you resist, you will become hardened and bitter.

What I have learned to see, and to say, about my marriage, is that it is absolutely wonderful a small part of the time; very, very hard another small part of the time; and just plain old-fashioned good most of the time. And plain old-fashioned good, dear reader, is a very wonderful kind of marriage to have.

words that count

Someone paid me the nicest compliment that I think I've received in a long time, today. They told me that they love our yard - that when they come by our house, that it just says "home" to them. I was so blessed by those words. Our yard is huge, and as much as we love it, it always needs work. The trimming is rarely all complete, much less all the weeding in the gardens. In fact, I've resorted to less weeding and using more Roundup this year, just to get the worst ones under control - which means that the weeds are even uglier, while they are in various stages of dying! But it is home to us, and we use our yard a lot. We are often outside, and the girls are learning how to be little helpers with various outdoor chores. When I heard that statement today, I was reminded once again of how even imperfection can still speak to people, and it even convicted me a little. The one thing that prohibits me from inviting people into our home more often - even though I do it more now than ever - is the fact that imperfections abound! Laundry, toys, remains of snacks, books, papers, and so forth, abound aplenty on most days here. I pick up twice a day, but of course, those times are not during social hours! It is a little intimidating to think of allowing people in to our lives and letting them see how we live. And yet, if the overall atmosphere of our home gives people even a little sense of who Jesus is and ministers even a little of His peace and love to their hearts, then I need to be willing to invite them in.

little by little

I have to give Adam some "brownie points" for being a good sport. For a guy who, traditionally, has been quite a collector, he is learning to take my cleaning streaks in good stride. It helps when I warn him that I'm in a "throwing out the excess" mode. He has gotten pretty good at going through his own stuff before I get to it(because he has learned through experience what will happen if it lays around for too long, collecting dust or just getting in the way). I was starting to feel discouraged again over how fast things pile up over and over again, even after I've gone through the house and thoroughly cleaned. After all, I do go through things pretty regularly. As I was thinking about it today, I was reminded that all of life is the same way. Whether gardening, or cleaning, or the annual mouse invasion in autumn, or dealing with personal sin, or just plain old living and activities - virtually every area of life requires constant vigilance. Weeds, dirt, and just plain old excess are ALWAYS trying to crowd in and choke out the best things in life. Being organized, more than anything, is simply about being diligent about all the little things, over, and over, and over, and over, and over again. At any rate, I think we're making progress. I even sold my little fireplace this time. I love pretty things, but any more, "pretty" must also be "functional" unless it is merely taking up wall space, and even then there has to be a limit. Maybe some day before the end of summer I'll no longer feel like I'm being crowded out of my own home by "stuff." Not that I'm against having things, or even nice things, but good grief....we all have to reach a point where we can say, emphatically, "enough is enough!"

when mom's the bad guy

Rachel has developed a rather creative way of expressing her anger toward me lately. A couple of days ago, she was mad that I had not allowed her to do something (probably watch a movie). A few minutes after our little tit-for-tat, she came up to me and said, "Mommy, I prayed to Jesus and asked Him to turn you into a kitten, so that's what He's going to do." Hmmm! I sat down and explained that I understood that she was angry with me, but did she REALLY want Jesus to turn me into a kitten? I proceeded to tell her all the things she would miss if I was gone - no hugs, no bedtime stories, no favorite treats for snacks, etc. She looked at me and simply said, "But Daddy can do those things." So then I went on to explain that Daddy has to work a lot and is not always here to do the things that Mommy does. It must have sunk in, because last night, she became angry with me again over something. This time, she marched up to me and declared, "I asked Jesus to put you in the garbage can for a little while." Oh, not to laugh sometimes!

chaos before order

For someone who always seems to have a reputation for being "organized," I am amazed at just how DISorganized my house can be at times. On a more positive outlook - I like rearranging and moving things around because it forces me to clean and organize thoroughly every time. Sometimes I don't know what I'd do with a bigger house! We're moving beds downstairs for the summer. After 2 years of suffering through the heat and humidity upstairs (though last year wasn't that bad), I've reached my limit. So the office is being redistributed throughout the house, and the bed(s) come down into the office, which is not only on the east side of house (which makes a huge difference in an old house with no AC), but also has a ceiling fan! I'll feel like a rich woman! Not to mention, sleeping on the same floor as the bathroom. Simple luxuries! The girls will get to pull their youth mattresses out to the living room at night, and store them under our bed during the day. Everything else will have to stay upstairs.

But of course, all this means that the house is unusually chaotic right now, and with sick kids still recovering, things have been interesting. Since it is spring, I have my typically ambitious list of projects to complete - while my energy holds out - so we'll see how far I get! The big things are almost complete, except for finish the paint on doors for the kitchen cabinets, and doing "something" with the back porch....And then, of course, there are still wedding clothes to shop for or sew before July. THAT is my "dreaded" project, though I'm trying to stay optimistic about it!

One of those weeks-

Kaelin sick for four days, and now Rachel. Poor things. I pray I don't get it. Somehow we always survive - since Adam is rarely in town when I get sick - but last fall, when I was sick for four days with the swine flu, was pushing the limit. Times like those I become ever more grateful for good neighbors.

On a more positive note, all five baby birds are weaned and moved into the flight cage. They appear to be loving it, so we just watch closely for a few days to make sure no one is getting hungry. Tinka had finally stopped feeding the little one today, and they were actually fighting over food and perches, so it was time to move them out to the flight. They are beautiful - six yellow canaries and one bronze sharing the flight. So pretty and fun to watch!

I finally got the rest of the garden in this morning, as well. And made curtains for the back porch, to keep out the sun and provide shade for Maggie. Finished a couple more projects, put more things away. Made plans for moving bedrooms downstairs for summer, and cleaning/painting back porch to spruce things up and make room for coat hooks. Too much to do, but at the same time, nice to have projects to spend energy on.

Book Review

“The Money Answer Book” by Dave Ramsey is a short, easy-to-read book that provides simple, direct answers to the most common financial questions.

I liked this book’s organized, direct approach to most people’s basic questions regarding financial issues. I think this book has at least a little something for everyone, if not more. Ramsey approaches all the typical hang-ups people have with money with his no-nonsense, tell-it-like-it-is style.

I thought this book was great for several reasons. For one, it does not have to be read cover-to-cover. Even the busiest people can find the time to read the sections that address their greatest concerns or area of need. Also, each section is simply made of several pages of simple questions people often have, followed by Ramsey’s no-nonsense, direct answer. The only draw-back to this book, if it can be called a draw-back, is that it does not contain any in-depth information. All the questions and answers are pretty basic. For someone needing or wanting more in-depth information, this book is probably not what you are looking for. However, that being said, I would recommend this book to virtually anyone. It will almost certainly provide some much-needed direction and insight. “The Money Answer Book” helps provide an overall sense of what financial well-being looks like, and what it takes to get there. Ramsey repeatedly emphasizes that virtually anyone can save money and work toward a financially secure future, whether they earn $25,000 or $250,000. This book will shed light on what, if any, areas you may want to focus on in your financial planning, and which areas to prioritize first.

And the Seasons Change....

Ah, yes. Spring/Summer has arrived! As I posted on FB today; until the grass stops growing, canaries finish molting, weeds cease to exist, and the harvest is finally in, I will be noticeably absent from my computer this summer, unless beckoned by work. I may check in on rainy days, but otherwise..... if you need to speak with me, your best option is to simply stop by, since I am rarely near the phone or computer this time of year!

As for an update on our bird babies; they are all roosting peacefully outside the nest tonight. I walked into the dining room tonight to see "Tiny Tim" snuggled up next to Big Brother (or sister) on the swing, while the other three were lined up in close proximity on a perch. It was so cute to see the big one and littlest one sharing the swing!

Still Surviving

We're all surviving so far - our five baby canaries, and myself. I pulled Sonny out of the breeding cage today, and closed him off in another room so Tinka can't see or hear him. She seems a little more attentive to her babies now. The oldest are ten days old today, so I'm going to take a chance and leave the heat lamp off tonight. At ten days old, they are supposed to be old enough to not need her warmth at night. I pray the little one stays warm, but not crushed, underneath. I'm constantly counting heads to make sure all five are up top and getting fed all day long.

Nurse-maid

Had a harrowing night with my baby canaries last night (at least it felt like it to me). When I got home from a church meeting at 10:15 PM, Tinka was NOT sleeping on her nest. I have been watching for this, since she abandoned her first nest this spring and all four babies were dead when I found them in the morning. They were just 4-5 days old. I excused it, because we had been out of power for the whole day, and I had moved the cage a few times, trying to find the warmest corner for the babies. These babies are not much older; the oldest were 7 days old, and the youngest 5 days old. I am not a highly experienced canary breeder yet, but my "intermediate" level of experience tells me - screams loudly at me - this is way, way too early for her to leave the nest. She did look stressed all yesterday afternoon, and I only saw Sonny feeding the chicks. At any rate, we set up a heating lamp to help keep the nest warm, and I just kept praying all night. God sees every sparrow that falls to the ground, so I know He sees my canaries. I checked on them throughout the night, and they were always breathing (their eyes aren't even opened yet, and just barely starting to get pin feathers). At 5 AM they were still on their own, but at 6 AM, I found Tinka crouched over them. I got their fresh hard-boiled egg out, and left them again. She has not done much this morning, but occasionally will help Sonny feed. I'm anxiously watching the clock so I can call Kelly at the Bird House to see what she recommends. If it's possible, I want to leave them with Sonny, because I think he will take better care of them than I would. I'm prepared to hand-feed, but I'm not looking forward to it! Oofta! I would not be in such a panic if they were just 3 or 4 days older. By that point, Tinka would be forced off the nest anyway. This was her last chance, and she is not getting another. No more babies for Tinka. Incidentally, I did find a 2 year old yellow female for sale on BisMan that I will pick up Friday, so I am excited about that! Then I will have my yellow pair. I will try to find a retirement home for Tinka.

On My Mind

Hmmm....piano. water paints and two very busy, very happy little girls. baby birds. beta fish. strawberry pie. nib pens and India ink. spring rain. a cup of tea on a cool, drizzly afternoon. Life is a beautiful thing.

To Speak or Not To Speak?

Well, I did it again today - opened my mouth, and inserted my not-so-dainty foot.

There are a few topics in life where I believe something strongly, and know I have the ultimate Truth to stand by, and therefore don't mind - so much - giving offense when I speak. After all, some things need to be said, whether it's comfortable or not, either to ourselves or those listening. I think most reasoning people would agree that part of our problem as a society is that believing anything too strongly has become taboo. We are expected, rather, to believe - strongly - in believing almost nothing at all. To many people, life is not to be lived with conviction and intention, but...well, casually, superfluously. Take life as it comes to you -- accept without questioning what society teaches is "the norm." Obviously, I don't agree. Hence, I live Off the Beaten Path. But to cause or give offense over non-essentials in life is something I have little patience for, even in myself. In those cases, I would like to succeed more often at simply...keeping quiet.

I have discovered recently that while being 30-something is, truly, a liberating stage of life (being past the whole "self-discovery" season -- in the sense that I now perceive what I believe with greater clarity and conviction), I now struggle with a different issue. That is, sometimes sharing my own convictions or views about any given topic too openly and freely with people who have not asked, are not looking, and simply are not interested. Sharing ideas, convictions, and beliefs persuasively means being discerning to those moments when people are open to at least listening, and hearing what we have to say. Not every moment, circumstance, or situation is a good sharing moment. And not every topic or issue is worth the possibility of giving offense. If we give offense over what I like to call "non-essentials," people are far less likely to receive what we have to say over the important issues in life. Note to self: First, Hold your tongue. Second, Listen. Third, Speak only when it "gives grace" to those who hear. Sometimes grace is challenging and convicting. Usually, however, it is...."a pleasant aroma."

The Fullness of Spring!

In the last week and a half, I have repainted my kitchen, dug a new flower bed, landscaped it with rock, planted, and spent a day watching/listening to a live Beth Moore teleconference. The Fullness of Spring is a good thing, but exhausting at times!

Book Review: "After the Hangover: The Conservatives' Road to Recovery"

“After the Hangover: The Conservatives’ Road to Recovery,” by R. Emmett Tyrrell Jr. is an insightful, refreshing, and optimistic, review of American conservatism. This book does not just talk about the problems that plague conservatism in the U.S. today, but instead reveals how those problems developed over time, and what can and should be done about them. Tyrrell’s book is a refreshing antidote for those conservatives who are worn out and discouraged by today’s political landscape. In fact, some may view Tyrrell as too optimistic, given today’s political trends. However, Tyrrell confronts such discouragement with conservatism’s historical record, as well as the large infrastructure in American today that supports a conservative agenda. In addition, Tyrrell points out that as Liberalism (with a capital L) in American leans more radically left, that an increasing number of Americans continue to identify as conservative.
Although I would recommend this book to virtually anyone who cares about today’s political trends and challenges, I must also admit that Tyrrell’s style of writing was at times hard to follow. He often simultaneously combines two to three thoughts or points into one sentence. In addition, Tyrrell does get caught up in a rather extended tribute to one of the conservative movement’s great leaders, which at times seems a bit out of context in this book. However, for those readers who can wade through the run-on sentences, and who are willing to be subject to a lengthy personal tribute of William F. Buckley, Jr., this book is a treasure-trove of American conservatism’s history and present-day status. In addition, it is presented with wit, humor, insight, and hope for the future.

And the answer is....?

This morning, as Rachel was reading through her word list, she asked me what "rob" means. I tried to explain that it is when someone takes something that is not theirs. She looked at me and said, "like when Mommy takes my toys?" ?!?! The honesty and directness of children still causes me to marvel on a regular basis. How was I to answer? Little did she know that just yesterday, when I was cleaning their room, I discretely threw away about one whole toy-box of miscellaneous "stuff" that no longer has a place or purpose in our home or their room. After a few seconds of frantically searching my memory bank for a good answer for her, I just tried to explain that actually, her toys are Mommy's and Daddy's, too, because we paid for them. Lame, I know, but what else was I to say?

Sewing Mom

I never thought I'd be one of those moms who stay up late sewing for my kids, but I think I have officially made the leap. Last night I was up until 1:30 a.m. in preparation for Easter morning. It's time to confess that I....have become a sewing mom. Surprisingly, I think I like it. I LIKE knowing that I have more time than money, because of other choices I've made. I LIKE the satisfaction of knowing I can clothe my kids in cute outfits I've made from clearance scraps. And, I LIKE the feeling of connection it gives me to my past.

I find myself living out the traditions of my mom and grandma more and more. More often than not, I recognize it after it happens - much of it comes as a natural result of general lifestyle choices, rather than a decision to be like them in some way. I'm a stay-at-home mom. Because of that, I was able to make the girls matching nightgowns and fleece robes at Christmas, and for the second Easter in a row have made their spring dresses. It's not planned or contrived. It just happens. I think one of the things I like most about it is how I have found connections to others, including ancestors long gone, through continued traditions. By this, I mean the ordinary things, the everyday "traditions," more so than the big moments, like how we celebrate Christmas, etc. Because I have chosen to prioritize my family and being at home with them, I find myself doing things my mom, grandmother, and great-grandmother did. Not because I am trying to be like them, but because I have chosen a set of values that directs me to a path that, in spite of the separation of years, technology, and societal changes, we have all shared, whether by choice or by circumstances.

Margin

Margin is, truly, a beautiful thing. There is absolutely no way to seize all those wonderful moments in life without it. This week, margin has allowed me to spend 3 afternoons outside with my girls in absolutely gorgeous, unseasonable weather. After 2 grueling winters, we all need the break. I feel sorry for all the people around here who have no margin, and are therefore unable to enjoy this treat in the weather.

Spring!

Yes, it is officially still almost 3 months away on the calendar, but we all know that real "spring" comes much sooner. I start celebrating when my canaries begin their annual breeding season, and this morning we got our first two baby birds! So, spring has officially arrived in our household. Birds nesting in the dining room, seedling plants getting a head start in the kitchen, front porch half-way cleaned for afternoon tea hour, ice and snow absent from all the porches and sidewalks, and the van officially "spring-cleaned." Who cares about the 3 foot snow pile on the front curb? IT'S SPRING, I say!

Definition

Kae*lin (Ka/lin), n. 1. kitten 2. little girl adj. 1. frisky, playful, mischievous, cuddly, unpredictabale, irresistible

Guilt, Grace, and Gratitude

Undeniable guilt plus undeserved grace should equal unbridled gratitude. Is the gratitude that flows out of your life as abounding as the grace that has flowed into your life? -- Unknown

Not Just a Hobby

I had a revelation the other day. I now know why I love hand-work, as opposed to sewing crafts. Because, quite simply, they are not so messy! They fit on my lap, and can be put away in seconds. On the other hand, sewing projects take over an entire room, and clean-up is such a chore. Not to mention, the monotony of hand-work allows my brain to be free for other things. Sewing requires a lot of concentration for me.

I also discovered why I am passionate about what I do, and why I do not consider it a waste of my time. First, I simply love to create beauty. Second, I believe in the art of sitting still, and being relationally available to my family, especially my children, during those quiet afternoon hours. I have memories of my own mom and grandma sitting quietly while doing hand-work. They were AVAILABLE at those times. I could talk all I needed to, and feel heard, which gave me a sense of validation. A large part of my emotional development is directly attributed to those hours they gave to quiet hand-work. Having my hand-work as a passion and a hobby allows me to create an atmosphere of peace and quiet in my home and be available to my children for "chit-chat," while still being somewhat productive. These are both dying arts - the art of relationships, especially within one's own family, and the art of handwork.