Peace - such a beautiful sound!

Ethan and Elijah.  Probably one of my favorite pictures of them during their first few days home.

Guess who's here?!



("Hmmm, I'll take that")



Long Labor of Love

Wow.  I simply can't imagine why anyone would ever choose a c-section over normal, natural delivery of a child.  That being said, I am so thankful that God has allowed, and ordained, that modern medicine is capable of such miracles.  Ethan Michael alnd Elijah John were welcomed into this life by emergency c-section last Monday, while fighting over who would have first rights to the birth canal.  Elijah, the smaller of the two and in a breech position, wanted to come feet first, at the same time that Ethan's head was trying to present.  I can't say much about the experience; the surgery itself was the easy part; trying not pass out while I was stitched back up while my blood pressure bottomed out was a different story, not to mention the entire recovery process.  I have an entirely new appreciation for true hospitalization, especially when surgery is involved.  The boys spent 11 days in the NICU while being closely monitored for respiratory issues, common in preemies.  I am so thankful for the opportunity to recover and rest from my surgery before being fully responsible for not just one, but two! baby boys (who, incidentally, are identical twins).  Even though it was incredibly hard to leave them in the hospital when I was discharged, there was also comfort in knowing they were being watched closely around the clock, which enabled me to sleep better at nights while my body recovered.  The only way I can think to describe the whole ordeal is something like 11 days of labor to bring these babies home.

When None of the Options Seem Great.....

As I sit, or lie down, and sit, and lie down some more....I keep hearing the phrases "50 centimeters," "triplets," "distended uterus," "irregular contractions," "deliver in the operating room," etc., etc. On the bright side, the babies still look great, and a normal delivery is still a possibility -- though the longer we wait, the less likely. My doctor said yesterday that the last time she measured someone at 50 centimeters, they were carrying triplets. Also, I learned that twins/multiples are ALWAYS delivered in the operating room, something I was completely unaware of. Labor can still be done in the birthing rooms, but as a safety precaution, they move the moms to the OR right before delivery and have the anesthesiologist in the room, just in case something goes wrong. The more distressing news for me is just in knowing that at this point, labor is more likely to be irregular and possibly prolonged, just because the uterus can not work as effeciently when it is so distended. Add to that is the issue of anesthesia; if there is no epidural in place (which I have never used before, and have no desire to now if trying to labor naturally), then IF an emergency c-section is deemed necessary, usually with the second baby, then general anesthesia has to be used, and I would be completely unconscious for quite a while. In that case, a scheduled c-section sounds better to me, because at least I would be awake and aware, even if not fully alert for a short time. At any rate, it is a lot to process and pray through, when none of the options sound very great. At this point, I am thinking that we are going to probably try something for next Friday. I am uncomfortable with letting things go much further. If we try to wait much longer, I may not be able to move at all, and if I decide to try for a regular delivery, that is important. In addition, the longer I wait, the greater the likelihood of an emergency c-section with whatever dr. is on call. I know my own doctor, and I trust her judgement, not to mention the fact that she knows me and what my preferences are. She'll work with me in whatever way I choose, until she feels she has to step in.

Quiet Pool

from "Come Away My Beloved," by Francis Roberts

Lo, I say unto thee, Wait upon ME. Let thy life be as a deep, quiet pool.
....

Only make unto thyself a place apart; yea, a place removed from the press and turmoil, and there I will meet thee. Yea I wait thy coming.
....

For I know what things ye have need of, and I am concerned about thine every duty and responsibility. But thou wilt find thy cares have vanished and thy load lightened as by an unseen hand. For I will that ye bring Me thy love, and even as thou art bringing to Me thy love, I shall in turn bring to thee My power,
so that I work for thee in a two-fold measure.

For I give unto thee the power to discharge thy duties with greater efficiency, and I also am actively engaged in working for thee in ways thou canst not see, to make thy path clear, and to bring about things which thou thyself couldest never accomplish, and which would otherwise absorb thine energies and wear out thy patience.

So I say unto thee again...Rest in Me. Wait upon Me. Come apart with me. Seek My face. Seek my fellowship.

The Blessings of Fellowship - and Babies!

Okay, to those of you who have found my blog and have actually been gracious enough to leave a comment or two.....I have finally found YOU! I think after the first year or two of blogging, I gave up on seeing if there were ever any comments, so I do apologize if you felt ignored (which, truth be told, I haven't spent much time on my blog this winter yet). At any rate, it is such a blessing to find a connection and some like-mindedness with other women in this world!

On another note; I had another OB appointment today, and the twins are getting big already - 4.09 and 5.10 lbs, and we are only at 33 weeks gestationally. My doctor says that is pretty huge for this stage, but we are learning not to be surprised at this. My body seems to thrive on growing big babies, though sometimes I wish that were not so! The bright side of it is - I have always had very good, easy babies who do well at nights right from the start, and I personally think this has something to do with their size and development. I hope the same holds true for these twins, even though individually they will be smaller than the others. On the not-so-bright side, the twins have sort of switched places. The head-down baby had been presenting first, in which case my doctor said she has no problem going ahead with a vaginal delivery, but sometime in the last week or two, the breech baby moved into front/presenting position, which would make a vaginal delivery out of the question. We will be watching this for the next two weeks, to see if they switch back. Please pray for God's will to do be done in this situation, and for my peace of mind, whichever way it goes. I have mixed feelings about a c-section, of course, and even about labor and delivery again so soon (who doesn't, right?), but of all the things I would miss the most if I had to have a c-section, are those wonderful first moments and hour right after their birth. To be fully alert and present of mind - and body!- when I meet those tiny little people is worth the agony in getting there. I would regret/miss that the most if I had to have a ceserean.