The Kids, September 2014

A Beautiful Thing

It feels an age since I have put any thoughts down..... It is virtually impossible to summarize almost two years of life, overflowing on every side, to a few paragraphs.  The twins are now 2, and so is Luke, currently. The girls are 7 and 8, and are doing well.  I encourage them regularly to grow into my "little women," and though there are times I feel like no one ever, ever listens to me, they are, actually, making progress. We all are. School is usually fun for all of us; lots of poems to memorize and books to read keep the imagination lively with colorful, creative ideas for play, while the structure of math provides a framework of absolute certainty that never changes. 


As I type all this, I am struck - as I momentarily am each day - by the blessed sound of...nothing.  I never tire of that sound - but only because I never get a chance to.  I know someday that will change, but for now - There are days when my mind and soul are literally gasping for quiet like a fish gasps for water. By the time three little heads snuggle down to rest and refuel for another run at life, I am often ready to weep with relief.  It hardly needs said that naps are the saving grace of all mothers of young children, everywhere. 


I ordered my garden seeds today, and new strawberry plants.  We have lived in our home for over 6 years now, and the seasonal routine has begun to take on a predictability that I find comforting.  I am now able, with some degree of confidence, to at least predict the GENERAL ebb and flow of the coming months.  Nothing in life is ever truly predictable, as we all know.  But there is something very centering in being able to look ahead at the calendar months and just know some things about them. For me, this comes from having a garden, and living close to the cycle of the earth and the seasons. For example, I know that I will be busy putting up peas and strawberries sometime the end of June/beginning of July.  And that towards the end of July (and again next January) life will strike a brief lull, and that during those long hot (and then cold) afternoons and evenings, I will actually have time (or at least make time) to brush up on certain subjects by doing a little extra reading.  I know that in February I will order garden seeds, and perhaps start some seedling trays, with more to follow in March.  I know that in early May I will be sneaking outside every chance I get to just BREATHE in the fresh spring air and smell the grass turning green!  I know that May and June are sometimes busy (and expensive) with weddings and graduations and planting; that July is frantic with birthdays. I know that August is a busy pickling month. I know that in September I will be (hopefully) canning tomatoes during every spare moment, and that in early October I will be sick of it all and desperately trying to finish up the last of the canning while anxiously waiting for the apples on our very late-bearing tree to fully ripen before it snows.  And that the minute it is all finally - FINALLY - put away, it is time to start planning for the winter holiday season!


I also know that through it all, everything else in life must go on, as well - learning/school, house renovations/repairs, potty-training, visiting family and friends.  Friday afternoon tea with the girls.  Wednesday afternoon art and music lessons. Planning, preparing, and cleaning up over 1,000 meals per year (snacks not included), and just as many loads of laundry!  Learning to be a better wife, a more patient mother, a more thoughtful friend.


Life, in a nutshell.... is beautiful....and brief.  I stood at my grandmother's graveside not three weeks ago, and was struck again by the fact that she was once young, like I am.  She was once busy in the throes of young motherhood, and ranching,  then on to other exciting adventures and opportunities as that season passed her by.  As I watched her sleep - always she seemed to be sleeping, those last several months of life - I kept thinking, how fitting.  How beautiful.  My grandmother, at 85, was still beautiful to me.  Beautiful because she was, in her sleep, at rest.  Simply, at rest.  When I would watch her peaceful breathing at the nursing home those last few times, I thought - she's just catching up on all her missed rest.  With nothing left to do, she was, finally, resting. Resting for all those days, all those years, when she raced frantically to keep up with life's demands.  Life raced by for her, as it now is for me.  I stood with all ten of my cousins for a picture and thought - how odd.  Our children are all the ages I remember being, so vividly, when we cousins played together as kids.  Life is beautiful.  But oh, how brief. 


But life is most beautiful when we are at rest.  At peace.  Like a little child that sleeps before taking another run at life.  Like a grandmother that sleeps because her life has been run, and there is nothing left, but to rest.

The Best Medicine

Several years ago, I had an "epiphany" moment when I realized that all babies are born knowing how to cry; but they must learn how to laugh.  How true this holds to all of us for all of life!  Frankly, I'm still learning how to laugh.  Some days it is easier than others, I admit, but hey; life with lots of Littles is sometimes so crammed with the unexpected twists and turns that most days I'm caught at least once not knowing if I'm coming or going (I've even had to resort to smelling the laundry I'm carrying to determine if I am Coming or Going from the laundry room a time or two).  People tell me all the time that I must be busy(!) and I tell them that yes, I am, but also having a blast.  Life with three babies is not only intense, it is FUN!  The work load may be three times as much as one baby, but so is the laughter!

That being said, I still have my moments.  Finding milk dumped, spread, finger-swiped, fist-splashed all over the kitchen counter just 5 minutes after I told someone (who remains unnamed) to watch the milk cup........yeah.  Anyway, I do get a huge kick out of watching the three boys, already starting to team up in their Triple Trouble antics.  Like when I found Luke dumping Lincoln Logs all over the floor while the twins watched, fascinated; and then, for the grand finale, he swished his hands wildly through the pile several times, scattering them even further for extra good measure.  This is still mild stuff, of course, considering they are still just 11 and 21 months of age.  Knowing the competitive nature of boys, I can just imagine what lies in store in another year or two when they all three attempt to out-do one another in much greater and more adventurous escapades......my prayer is that I'll still be learning to laugh (even if much later, and behind closed doors)!

"Gone With the Wind"

Naps (for myself)
A Solid Night's Sleep
Discretionary Income
Long, Leisurely Evenings in Which to :
Bath, Perform Manicures, Apply Facemasks, or Any Other   Pampering Activities
Skinny Waist
Going to the Bathroom In Solitary Peace
Showering Without Interruption
Bath Towels That Are Always Hung Up and Left Alone for the Proper Owner to Use
A Bathroom That Remains As Clean and Neat As When I Cleaned It
Being Allowed to Enjoy a Plate of Food Entirely for Myself
Eating Without Getting Up At Least Once to Fetch Something for Someone Else
Going An Entire Day Without Needing to Change Something I'm Wearing At Least Once
Buying Dry-Clean Only Clothes
Being Allowed to Lay Around and Rest When Ill
Being Able to Have a Plan and Stick to It
Having No One to Cook For
Having to Eat Alone
Not Having a Good Laugh for Days On End
Going Home to An Empty House
Not Having Anyone Worry About Where I Am When Running Late
Having to Pass Up Buying Cute Outfits That Are Way, Way Too Small for Me
Wondering If I'll Ever Find Prince Charming
Wondering If Prince Charming Will Still Think I'm Beautiful After Five Babies And No Makeup
Wondering If I'll Have to Grow Old Alone
Moving Every 2-3 Years
Boredom

Seasonal Decorations

Okay, I think it needs to be said.  Out loud.

As I was driving to the church the other day, I noticed a couple of sawhorses set up in someone's driveway with a huge pile of cornstalks laying out to dry.  I can only presume the cornstalks were in preparation for fall decorations, as this particular house has a beautifully kept front yard and flower bed.  As I drove by, it ocurred to me that the only people who have the time, money, and inclination for seasonal decorating en mass, are those who - frankly - have actually very little to do with genuine seasonal activity (i.e. this home doesn't have  - ahem - a farm field, vegetable garden or fruit tree in sight....).

Now, don't get me wrong.  I love seasonal decorations.  I love browsing decorating magazines as much as the next woman, and I can get dreamy about how my house might look if I actually had the time and money that some people obviously have.

However, it has been several years now since I have had the luxury - and yes, it is a luxury - of spending money on objects that are simply meant to represent the beauty, grandeur, or nostalgia of the seasonal changes.  Instead, my house is full of the not-so-beautiful-but-very-practical signs of the seasons as they roll by.  For example - I don't possess a pile of nicely drying cornstalks in my yard this fall.  I DO, however, have a garden that is in various stages of drying as the weather cools.  My cornstalks are drying up where they were planted - standing in the garden in a rather wilted state.  My kitchen is full of boxes of canned foods that I have busy with for over a month now.  Canning supplies are, simply put, everywhere.  Between Luke and myself, they get sprinkled from the kitchen to the front door on a sometimes daily basis. In other words.....fall decorating in real form.  Not pretty, but definitely harvest-themed!

The same could be said for any of the other seasons, as well.  ,It's not that I don't try, at least somewhat, but.............My decorating these days for Thanksgiving and Christmas consists of slapping a wreath on the front door, (maybe) finding a table center-piece, and for all of two weeks in December, hoisting a tree in our dining room.  Otherwise, my seasonal decorations consist of the smells of seasonal foods cooking, simmering, or baking in the kitchen, from spiced cider in freezing December to ham and scalloped potatoes on Resurrection Sunday.  In the winter, I must add, "decorations" also includes snowpants, boots, coats, hats, scarves and mittens strewn from the front to the back door, usually clumped around the furnace vents as they dry.  Spring decorating at my house is now compiled of gardening magazines and rubber boots (my new best friend in the early spring weeks); seed catalogs and gardening gloves, and sometimes a capenter's tape as I scramble to measure yard and garden spaces while dreaming of new floral scapes and vegetable beds. 

Someday, perhaps, I'll have a beautifully decorated home again.  But for now, I decorate as an itsy-bitsy scale farmer; in real-time, real-world, real-seasonal style.  Not something fit for a home decorating magazine features, but definitely fit for a family farm feature.  No more feeling sad or bad or sorry for myself that my house doesn't look Martha Stewart-ish.  Instead, I think I'll head out to the garden and see how orange our giant pumpkin looks.

All In a Night's Work....

It's amazing to me at times to see how life experiences can deepen and expand our perspective concerning different subjects.  I have always been a huge supporter of our Second Amendment.  It often bothers me when people say disparaging things about owning firearms, because to me it shows, very simply, a huge lack of knowledge of U.S. history, and why our founding fathers even gave us the 2nd Amdment in the very first place.  As the old saying goes, those who don't know their history are bound to repeat it. 

Now, I have to admit that my thoughts on this issue have been shaped rather dramatically by the presence, for 3 years, of a neighbor who was not only a schizophrenic, but who also would take to literally stalking my two girls and I every time we stepped out of our house.  If we were anywhere within visual range of his house, and he was aware we were out and about in the yard, he would jump in his car and start circling the block.  Sometimes this just made me mad; other times, it became unnerving.  Eventually, he moved away, but three years of being on high alert, with a husband who frequently worked out of town for 2-3 days on end, was enough to make me appreciate the value of owning firearms for self-defense. 

To top this off, just two weeks ago I was awakened in the night by the sound of our basement door, which opens into the dining room, being rattled against the chair I had wedged under the door-knob (it's a cheap hollow door, so I have been reinforcing it at night).  With five children, three of them babies, in the house, I am a light sleeper.  I have been awakened numerous times over the past seven years; I can almost always place the sound I heard within just a minute or two.  I could be wrong about what took place here a couple of weeks ago, but I don't think so.  The rattling downstairs woke me from a sound sleep through the motors and fans of two air conditioners.  I sat up, turned on my lamp and shut one air conditioner off, and listened intently.  After about 3 minutes, I heard what sounded like a man's voice exclaim something, together with something falling in the basement.  I should add that our basement is currently all dug out.  We are putting in an entirely new foundation and walls, and the basement stairwell is open directly to the outside right now.  I think it was after this second sound that I grabbed my gun.  I sleep with a loaded handgun by my bed when Adam is gone.  Most of the time it is locked up, but when he is working nights, I take it out of the safe and put it in a locked holster in the dresser drawer by the bed.  I grabbed this, and the phone.  After another four minutes of intense listening and prayer, I heard a third noise, and this is when I finally called 911.  While waiting for the sherrifs to arrive at 2:30 a.m., I stayed on the phone with the dispatcher, who commented a couple of times about how calm I was staying.  I refrained from telling him (I didn't want him worrying about the deputies coming to the house) that it is much easier to be calm when you have a loaded gun by your side.  Also, when you are a mom with a house full of children/babies, panicking really isn't an option. 

The deputy sherrif's didn't find anyone when they got to the house, but they did inform me that they had received a call just a few hours earlier about a "suspicious" tansient at the bar just two blocks from our house.  I strongly suspect that whoever was trying to break in thought the house was empty.  Not everyone realizes you can live in a house with the basement dug out like ours is right now.  He was either looking for some small valuables to nab, or a free place to crash for the night.  At any rate, my locked doors were his best friend that night.  Otherwise, he could potentially have been staring at the wrong end of my handgun. 

I sincerely hope I never have to use my gun to defend my children or myself, but I am here to say that I will use it if necessary.  One of the biggest realizations I had to come to grips with after becoming a mom was that just hiding or running isn't an option when you have children.  When Adam is out of the house, keeping them safe is my job as their mother.  Do I believe God has a hand in this as well?  Absolutely.  I believe it was God who gave me the nudge to wake up; who gave the discernment to know what the sounds were that I heard, and who prompted me to call 911.  He is also the one who directed my husband to equip me to defend myself should the need arise, a few years ago when the situation with this other neighbor was becoming unsettling.

And finally, for all the "tree-huggers" who sincerely believe animals should have more rights than  humans when it comes to self-defense, allow me to say this; more gun laws will never stop bad guys from having guns.  Remember the prohibition days?  (Here again - the value of knowing your history helps....)  In owning a gun and being prepared to use one, I would like to point out that I am doing no more and no less than any wild animal would, in readiness to defend her young and her own life.  We have all heard the stories of a wild bear or big cat somewhere attacking a human, only to discover that it was just a mommy defending her young, who were in hiding nearby.  Whenever we hear those stories, we somehow instinctively know that those animals were simply doing their jobs, as moms, and the unfortunate victim should have stayed away.  Of course, the politically correcct media plays this angle up - subtly, but effectively.  Well, I'm here to say that I'm a mommy too, and I'll do whatever it takes to protect my babies, as well, even if - perhaps especially if - it requires the use of firearms.  My advice to you is, to do the same.  And don't surprise me in the middle of the night.

Living a Full Life - And Making it Work!

To those of you who visit my blog once in awhile - I apologize for this post.  I feel like writing today, but I'm not feeling very creative.   I thought I'd write about something very mundane, but that I rely on to make my days work, which is meal planning.  I just finished cooking my deli-style roast beef for Sunday night sandwiches, which is what prompted this topic.

In lieu of menu plans, I have discovered that I/we enjoy a combination of the predictable, mixed up with some alternatives.  I think everyone knows that I make and freeze up to 30 meals at a time.  However, I've learned how make them stretch for 2 or 3 months by scheduling other meals during the week.  For example, Wednesday night is always spaghetti night, and Friday is dinner-and-a-movie family night, during which we usually rotate between pizza and bean dip with chips.  Saturday is generally breakfast-for-supper night, so we pick something special to make that we usually don't take time for in the mornings, like crepes, waffles, quiche, or French toast.  Mealtimes tend to be a never-ending, overwhelming task at times, even for people like me that generally like to cook.  Now, with 3 babies, I've learned that a little bit of planning can go a very long way in keeping me sane.

Having designated meals on designated days really seems to help me break up the overwhelming-ness of the never-ending feeding cycle of a busy household.  There are basically 180 meals in a two-month span, not including snacks, which is a completely different category/subject!  During most of the year, except those 2-3 summer months that are just too hot to cook, we have a basic breakfast rotation that includes cold cereal on Saturday mornings, toast on Sundays, and then puff pancake, baked oatmeal, muffins and eggs, hot cereal, and pancakes during the week.  I keep a fresh-ground, multi-grain pancake mix in the freezer with a recipe card in the bag, so even Rachel can make that breakfast on her own.  In fact, I keep the rest of our breakfast recipe cards taped inside the kitchen cabinet door above the mixer, for convenience. This is a huge help for Rachel, who is now able to make most of our breakfasts on her own, or with Kaelin's help (but only on the mornings that she is running on time with her morning chores!). That little bit of planning takes care of 60 of the 180 meals.

After constantly being frustrated by lunches - they always seem to sneak up on me! -  I learned to keep a list in my daily planner, with our menu, of about 4-5 different types of favorite soups and 4-5 sandwich ideas, that we rotate through each week or two when we are not using leftovers.  That takes care of another 60 meals, so now I have crossed off 120 meals of the 180.  Oh, since Wednesday is spaghetti night (Rachel's favorite food!), we have a mac-and-cheese Monday (lunch) for Kaelin, since that is her favorite meal.  Also, a quick note on Sundays - I don't usually cook on that day!  We generally have leftovers for lunch.  Supper is roast beef sandwiches for now, maybe deli-style turkey breast when I can get one on sale to bake.  I have started making a deli-style roast beef (google for some great recipes!) sometime during the week, and slicing it thin for sandwiches.  I can freeze half and make one small roast stretch for two Sunday suppers.  French dip works great with this, as well as adding mozzarella cheese and onions, or whatever else strikes one's fancy!  The reason for having something super simple for Sunday meals is so that Adam and the girls can swing it on their own when I simply need to have a kitchen strike for a day.

By having  a plan like this, with days/meals that are set, I am left with just 3 days a week where I need to use my frozen meals, making them last two months instead of one.  This allows us to have variety sprinkled with some predictability.  It seems to be a good mix for us where pallette is concerned, and the planning takes boat loads of stress out of my life.  Even the kids know - Wednesday is always spaghetti night, Friday is always pizza or dip night, etc. 

Also, with  the never-ending rising cost of food, I'm learning to plan smarter for grocery trips, as well.  I already use the Internet for most of my shopping, so am able to price compare from the comfort of my chair, since everywhere I shop has a website now.  In addition to using Amazon to "subscribe" to diapers, toilet paper and dishsoap, I also use the Internet for the bulk of our grocery shopping.  One grocery store in Bismarck charges only $5 to shop an entire grocery order, bags it, and brings it to the front door when I drive up.  That's how I get groceries with three babies in tow!  Sam's Club does the same thing for free, and I have learned to create a 6-8 week shopping list of "staples" for Sam's, that is kept on the fridge, that I always order, and other lists of the cheapest places to buy certain items.  I am also learning to use Azure for more things like produce.  It's usually organic, and competes with the regular non-organic prices of the grocery stores around here.  In these ways, I am able to keep my trips to Bismarck to a minimum, and cut down drastically on impulse buying.  I am also able to save several hundred dollars each year by making our bread, yogurt, and laundry soap.  I googled household grocery budgets recently, and was shocked to learn that a typical monthly food budget for a family of 4 was between 6 and 8 hundred dollars - and that is for frugally-minded people.  Whew!